Finding your tribe part 2 (You have been loved by someone good)

"People will disapprove of you. you'll be misunderstood. those who wanted to control you with their words or their rules will come down harshly on you. people you so desperately wanted approval from will raise an eyebrow or look the other direction. this is a part of the great liberation"
I wrote recently about finding your tribe.
I lost a lot of things during my season of deconstruction, one of them being my tribe. My beliefs were changing, where i fell politically was changing, what i believed about God was changing. And that change was too much for some people. I was shamed, both publicly and privately. people pulled away from me because i just wasn't the same anymore or they disapproved of the choices i was making or my growth somehow threatened them and what they thought they knew or they were convinced i had gone off the deep end. i pulled away from people to, because they just didn't get it anymore, because they were unable to support me on my journey into becoming more of who i was created to be, because i was done with fake and things that didn't support my highest good.
so i lost my tribe. and it was and is very lonely. 
i made plans to go to Buti with an old friend tonight but she had to cancel at the last minute. i hemmed and hawed about whether i would go alone, but finally i decided i would. 
mid-way through the practice i paused, wiping away the droplets running down my face and noticing it wasn't the normal beads of sweat but tears. 
at the end of the practice, as we lay in savasana, a song came on with the line "You have been loved by someone good."
and the tears started again. because ever since my loss of tribe this has felt so untrue for me. i have felt like a lone wolf. and i became ok with that. comfortable, even, with being alone. i felt empowered leaving relationships that no longer served me, and took comfort in knowing i had the strength to walk away when once my codependent self would have sucked everything out of that relationship, not leaving even once it became toxic for me.
i thought of these relationships, this tribe that bloomed in the most unlikely of places. My marriage, my yoga + oils babes, my RAD life family, my work friends. Places where i feel absolutely supported to sparkle and shine and be everything i was meant to be, where my growth isn't met with push back but is encouraged, where people are not afraid to ask the hard questions and hold the line but i know at the end of the day i can come home to these people.
The next song that came on is becoming a new favourite of mine; You can't rush your healing by Trevor Hall. And as it played i couldn't help but sing the words because it feels so true for this season of my life.
You can't rush your healing
Darkness has its teachings
Love is never leaving
You can't rush your healing 

This post is my gratitude letter to the tribe that shows up in the most unlikely places, who give me the space to be my truest self, who love me without holding back and who keep showing up. I am so immensely grateful that all my healing brought me here. 

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