Gilead

Ever since I decided to go I've been thinking about leaving. Giving in my 2 weeks notice seemed to trigger something in me, and since then my heart has been heavy thinking about leaving. All the times I left, all the times I didn't leave when I should have. As I walked out those double doors for the last time on Friday I was hit with a sudden pang of missing. sometimes, even when one is leaving for the right reasons, good reasons, the leaving can feel almost bittersweet. Because as much pain and toxic air that was held within those walls, there were also smiles and laughter and genuine care being given. I never expected to feel sad. For weeks, maybe even months, before I left I would run around in circles talking about all the things I didn't like, the ways the system was corrupt, the huge flaws in the way things were run. and then as I walked out those doors I noticed myself crying because this place had taught me so much. that's the way it is with endings, right? ...

"If you want crappy things to stop happening to you then stop accepting the crap and demand something more" Cristina Yang OR "You want to stop feeling like crap? Then stop accepting the crap and do something about it." The words that have been running through my mind for the last few days Sometimes love asks you to do scary things. Really scary things. The kind that make you want to drop this whole healing journey process and run back to the safety of the known. I came to a realization a while ago that if I wanted to live the healing journey I talk about living on instagram with the same kind of courage I admire in others something needed to change. I couldn't shake the feeling. It's been lingering in the back of my mind since the beginning of this year but in the last month or so the thought roared so loud I couldn't quiet it, could no longer ignore it, could no longer pretend this calling wasn't for me. See when you listen to the voice of Di...