Thanksgiving 2017
This morning was perfect. One of those mornings I used to dream about, the kind that happen so rarely that when they do I feel like I need a camera to capture every little detail.
The perfect cool crispness of the air, how its not yet snowing, how you need to bundle up in a sweater and cuddle under a blanket, how the golden leaves dance and fall to the ground. The smell of apple crisp in the oven, the way the scents of apple and cinnamon, nutmeg and vanilla all mix together and tickle my nostrils. John Mayer on the radio (my all time favourite album of his no less). My coziest sweater wrapped around my shoulders and my bare feet on the kitchen floor. I was made for these mornings. I think ordinary moments like this become extraordinary when you pause, just for a second, and think to yourself how amazing this all is. The present makes the perfect.
Another thanksgiving is here and I'm thinking about how much my life has changed.
I'm married now, in our own little house. Marriage is the hardest thing I've ever done, hands down, but it is also the most beautiful. Experiencing life with your second body - this other person who is connected to you in such a powerful way - is a transformative thing. the way that intimacy reveals all your wounds and scars and beckons you into healing is something I never could have prepared myself for. Participating in such creation is the best thing I've ever made as an artist.
I found a tribe. a tribe called RAD, who have become my people. They call me out on my shit, hold me in my pain, recognize my greatness and give me room to sparkle. I have no words to explain how grateful I am for these people that have become my family. They get my heart like not many people do and walking into that studio feels like coming home in all the best ways. They are my people, and I know that no matter what they have my back. They are the community I never was able to dream of but always longed for. I wish everyone could have a sacred tribe like this one. If you have been lucky enough to find your people, love them hard.
I walked away from a lot of toxic relationships and situations this past year. Stuff that was no longer for me or that I had outgrown. its easy to be upset about this, and I was and still am sometimes. But letting go of all this stuff gave me room to embrace what was for me. It showed me who I was and the kind of life and job and relationships I want to cultivate. It's hard to let go of things you once thought would last forever, relationships you once thought were for you, jobs that you loved. But by shedding all of these things I was able to realize I only want healthy, loving relationships in my life, people who believe the best in me and trust in that, who know me and my heart, who are honest and for me. These are my people. I realized life is too short to stay in a job you don't love, that doesn't feel good, where you aren't respected for who you are and the job you do. So while its hard to let go I am so grateful for all the letting go taught me, and how it further opened me up to love.
I'm grateful for my body, all the ways I've fallen in love with movement and expression lately and the way that's opening me up to new opportunities. For how its healing, how I'm finding the foods and things that nourish my body and moving towards that instead of away. How I'm becoming stronger.
I'm grateful for all these dreams becoming a reality: participating in yoga teacher training and running my own business and all of the ways this has encouraged me to grow and trust myself.
I'm grateful for becoming. Becoming more confident, more fierce, more loving, more gentle, more honest, more committed to myself and my tribe, more trusting. Pursuing the things that light me up, listening to my own heart, loving myself first and letting all else flow out of that, not asking if I have it right but asking myself whether or not it feels good.
And this, this feels good.
Happy Thanksgiving friends. If you feel so inclined, share with me what you're grateful for. I'd love to share in celebration with you.
The perfect cool crispness of the air, how its not yet snowing, how you need to bundle up in a sweater and cuddle under a blanket, how the golden leaves dance and fall to the ground. The smell of apple crisp in the oven, the way the scents of apple and cinnamon, nutmeg and vanilla all mix together and tickle my nostrils. John Mayer on the radio (my all time favourite album of his no less). My coziest sweater wrapped around my shoulders and my bare feet on the kitchen floor. I was made for these mornings. I think ordinary moments like this become extraordinary when you pause, just for a second, and think to yourself how amazing this all is. The present makes the perfect.
Another thanksgiving is here and I'm thinking about how much my life has changed.
I'm married now, in our own little house. Marriage is the hardest thing I've ever done, hands down, but it is also the most beautiful. Experiencing life with your second body - this other person who is connected to you in such a powerful way - is a transformative thing. the way that intimacy reveals all your wounds and scars and beckons you into healing is something I never could have prepared myself for. Participating in such creation is the best thing I've ever made as an artist.
I found a tribe. a tribe called RAD, who have become my people. They call me out on my shit, hold me in my pain, recognize my greatness and give me room to sparkle. I have no words to explain how grateful I am for these people that have become my family. They get my heart like not many people do and walking into that studio feels like coming home in all the best ways. They are my people, and I know that no matter what they have my back. They are the community I never was able to dream of but always longed for. I wish everyone could have a sacred tribe like this one. If you have been lucky enough to find your people, love them hard.
I walked away from a lot of toxic relationships and situations this past year. Stuff that was no longer for me or that I had outgrown. its easy to be upset about this, and I was and still am sometimes. But letting go of all this stuff gave me room to embrace what was for me. It showed me who I was and the kind of life and job and relationships I want to cultivate. It's hard to let go of things you once thought would last forever, relationships you once thought were for you, jobs that you loved. But by shedding all of these things I was able to realize I only want healthy, loving relationships in my life, people who believe the best in me and trust in that, who know me and my heart, who are honest and for me. These are my people. I realized life is too short to stay in a job you don't love, that doesn't feel good, where you aren't respected for who you are and the job you do. So while its hard to let go I am so grateful for all the letting go taught me, and how it further opened me up to love.
I'm grateful for my body, all the ways I've fallen in love with movement and expression lately and the way that's opening me up to new opportunities. For how its healing, how I'm finding the foods and things that nourish my body and moving towards that instead of away. How I'm becoming stronger.
I'm grateful for all these dreams becoming a reality: participating in yoga teacher training and running my own business and all of the ways this has encouraged me to grow and trust myself.
I'm grateful for becoming. Becoming more confident, more fierce, more loving, more gentle, more honest, more committed to myself and my tribe, more trusting. Pursuing the things that light me up, listening to my own heart, loving myself first and letting all else flow out of that, not asking if I have it right but asking myself whether or not it feels good.
And this, this feels good.
Happy Thanksgiving friends. If you feel so inclined, share with me what you're grateful for. I'd love to share in celebration with you.
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