I'm a writer
I always remember saying that I would not live a life I didn't love.
I told this to adults and they would always chuckle, reminding me that part of being an adult was going to work in a job you didn't always love and that sometimes you needed to do what you hated to pay the bills.
I admire that about me, that optimism, that stubbornness and drive, that desire to create something more and the knowledge and faith that I could.
Maybe that's why when I felt my 9-5 job sucking my soul and taking me down the path that all the adults had told me was just every day life and becoming something I didn't love I quit. And I created a job that I love, where I don't work 9-5, where I'm doing what makes me happy on my terms.
I read a poem tonight by Janne Robinson and in her collection of poems she has one entitled Oh, you're a writer?
On the top of the page in big, bold letters I wrote a letter to myself. It says simply "This is why you need to keep creating."
The last line in her poem says "I write because I am desperate to be anything but you."
and something about that resonated in the deep parts of me because its so true. That's why I keep creating, keep showing up and doing the work, keep pushing even though this little self doubt button in my brain is screaming at me that I'm crazy. I play with kids and I teach yoga and I write and I talk about oils because I am desperate to be anything but the person society told me I had to be.
with the 9-5 job, and the white picket fence, and the vacationing because i'm burnt out on life and the constant desire to have more and the coming home every day to sit in front of the television and numb out and then get up the next morning and do it all over again.
I create and push and teach and practice and show up because I want every moment of my life to feel fully alive and spent doing something I love.
So my house isn't always clean and my bank account isn't cushioned and I drink too much coffee and I sometimes tell too much to strangers on the internet and I will spend two hours writing out a poem in calligraphy and I'll forget to eat because I'm too busy writing the perfect story.
But I'd take all of that a million times over before I settle for a life I don't love, before I become just another face and start robotically moving through my life instead of being present for each brilliant, heart breaking, earth shattering second of it.
So yeah, I'm a writer. And I would never want to be anything less.
I told this to adults and they would always chuckle, reminding me that part of being an adult was going to work in a job you didn't always love and that sometimes you needed to do what you hated to pay the bills.
I admire that about me, that optimism, that stubbornness and drive, that desire to create something more and the knowledge and faith that I could.
Maybe that's why when I felt my 9-5 job sucking my soul and taking me down the path that all the adults had told me was just every day life and becoming something I didn't love I quit. And I created a job that I love, where I don't work 9-5, where I'm doing what makes me happy on my terms.
I read a poem tonight by Janne Robinson and in her collection of poems she has one entitled Oh, you're a writer?
On the top of the page in big, bold letters I wrote a letter to myself. It says simply "This is why you need to keep creating."
The last line in her poem says "I write because I am desperate to be anything but you."
and something about that resonated in the deep parts of me because its so true. That's why I keep creating, keep showing up and doing the work, keep pushing even though this little self doubt button in my brain is screaming at me that I'm crazy. I play with kids and I teach yoga and I write and I talk about oils because I am desperate to be anything but the person society told me I had to be.
with the 9-5 job, and the white picket fence, and the vacationing because i'm burnt out on life and the constant desire to have more and the coming home every day to sit in front of the television and numb out and then get up the next morning and do it all over again.
I create and push and teach and practice and show up because I want every moment of my life to feel fully alive and spent doing something I love.
So my house isn't always clean and my bank account isn't cushioned and I drink too much coffee and I sometimes tell too much to strangers on the internet and I will spend two hours writing out a poem in calligraphy and I'll forget to eat because I'm too busy writing the perfect story.
But I'd take all of that a million times over before I settle for a life I don't love, before I become just another face and start robotically moving through my life instead of being present for each brilliant, heart breaking, earth shattering second of it.
So yeah, I'm a writer. And I would never want to be anything less.
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